Encounters with Rantwick, episode Nineteen: Geese Are Cranky Jerks

Jerks are common enough, although in my experience most people aren't. Jerks, I mean. Then again, maybe we're all jerks. I mean, maybe the vast majority of us are nice, except for the rare moments when we act like jerks. There are just so many of us, though, that we experience somebody else's very rare jerky moment multiple times daily.

One thing I did not know was that Geese were cranky jerks. I mean, I had a hunch, but it was unproven. Until now.

I guess I should just cut that bird the same slack I did for humans in my opening musings, but I can't. With Geese, it's about even odds that if you get within earshot, they're gonna insult you. It's true and you know it. If you don't know it yet, you will. Oh yes, you will.

Have a jerk-free weekend, everyone!

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Encounters with Rantwick, episode two: Inspector Goose's extreme pie plate vigilance

If you don't read bikesnobNYC like I do, the title of this post won't make any sense. The short version is that the snob hates pie plates, but it's geese who have been doing something about it.



Pie plates are those plastic or metal discs that come on many bicycles, and are also called spoke protectors.



They supposedly guard your spokes against chain damage if it ends up way up there. The truth, however, is that any properly tuned bicycle would never need one thanks to the limiting screws on any modern derailleur.

I commute on a fixed gear bicycle (one gear only, no coasting, no derailleur), so in my case a pie plate would be extra super duper useless. Perhaps this was why I was subjected to my harrowing meeting with Inspector Goose:

Those three quick steps still cause me to shudder with fear when I see them. Most of you have pie plates on your bicycles. I have no personal interest in your removing them, but beware Inspector Goose, man, beware Inspector Goose.

Spring is Here! Ride that bike and I'll see you next Monday.

R A N T W I C K