Are You #%^&1n' Kiddin' Me #2

I saw this ad on TV recently. I am heavily skeptical.

Here's something from their website:

"hmm..." and highlighting added by me, in case you're dead stupid.

"Results May Vary" seems to be a popular claim among charlatans. Are you hearing me "Ab Exploder" and "Extenze-a-lator"? Are you? AAARRGGGH.

I can believe claims of attracting more birds than other brands, like by producing the birdseed with a loving approach rather than a nihilistic one, (since birds prefer love over nihilism) or perhaps by using some industrial espionage and installing nihilists as employees for your birdseed producing competition. But 2X as many colourful birds? Wah? Are colourful birds attracted to different foods than their more plain cousins? I suppose it could be possible, but somebody would have to show me the data and methodology on this one.

Maybe it was "leaked" (on purpose, perhaps?) that they were making a commercial that day, so all the colourful and bizarre wanna-be Hollywood bird stars came out like it was America's Birds' Got Talent or something.

Oh man, Wait! What if the birdseed works by poisoning the non-colourful birds? That would be terrible. Attractive birds (and people) already have an advantage over the more typical and/or ugly. Killing off the plain birds just seems like adding insult (i.e. death) to injury to me. I'm sure that isn't how the birdseed works. Maybe that's why I don't see certain cartoons on the air any more. They resulted in grownups like me having unhealthy, strange thoughts.

Alright, enough with my crazy and dark thoughts of death by birdseed. A nice big responsible corporation would never dream of such a thing because big corporations care about us and our winged backyard buddies.

I know I'm going out on a limb with this one; there is a possibility that these claims are correct and there is real science to back them up. Ornithologists professional and amateur, please come to my aid in reducing the incredulity that has prompted me to exclaim, "Are You #%^&1n' Kiddin' Me?" once more.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

Minor Updates

Update 1 - I rode with my "How's My Driving?" sign today and yesterday, but not on the weekend or Monday. No responses other than a single "omg wtf lol" as of yet. Mrs. Rantwick thinks the people/cars that see me often may get more curious over time... we shall see.

Update 2 - Time is running out to make a play for $5 in real Canadian Tire money in my Obstructionist Art contest. In hindsight I wouldn't have put the submission deadline so far away (July 1), especially because I am embarking on two weeks of vacation on July 1 and probably won't be touching a computer in that time, so no winner will be announced until July 15... foresight is not a strength of mine.

Update 3 - My Trek 520 build has been dead in the water since powder coating the frame. I did Boeshield the innards of the frame as suggested by Cafiend, knowledgeable bike mech and author of Citizen Rider. I like that Boeshield stuff. I've used it on a few other things lately too. Anyway, I have high hopes of continuing with the Trek 520 build soon, but no promises.

I think that's it. Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K