Curse You, Bike Snob NYC

Bike Snob NYC is a very popular blogger with lots of cyclists. I am one of the Snob's many fans. I am also a Canadian. As such, when the Snob started referring to the USA as Canada's "this" and Canada's "that" late in September, I really liked it. I encouraged him to keep it up in the comments. I don't know if he read my comments, but he did indeed keep doing it for a while. Then, perhaps sensing that this particular gag might be getting a little tired, he stopped. I don't blame him, since a joke overworked is funny no more. Yesterday, however, he was back at it, with two in one post!

I think what makes them so satisfying to me is that 1) they are silly and 2) they speak of the USA in relationship to Canada rather than the other way around. That is a rare thing that you might have to be a Canuck (or a Mexican) to really appreciate.

I started this post with the simple intention of mentioning some of these references just for the hell of it, but as I found them and saved the links, WTF syndrome reared its head once more. Curse you, BSNYC! For those of you who have not been briefed on WTF syndrome, here is an excerpt from one of my previous posts:

So, what is WTF syndrome? It is characterized by thinking or saying something odd, followed by the thought, "I wonder what that would look like?" The next phase of the disease involves compulsively answering that question by manipulating existing images to provide an actual visual of some sort. The final stage of the syndrome requires the afflicted person to publish the aforementioned result online or at least show it to some friends or coworkers. Since I want to keep both my friends and my job, I have restricted myself to posting the results of my WTF online only.

WTF did not strike with all of the Snob's metaphors, so only some have ended up in this post. Remember, it's an illness. I suffer right along with you.

"Canada's food-besmirched bib" - bsnyc post: Nov 2, 2010

"Canada's flabby jowl" - bsnyc post: Nov 2, 2010

"Canada's Rooster Wattle" - bsnyc post: Oct 11, 2010

"Canada's Undercarriage" - bsnyc post: Oct 4, 2010

There was a WTF Syndrome moment with this, but I stomped out those thoughts in the interest of North/South diplomatic relations. It took a few beers and some deep cleansing breaths, but I did it. I mean, who would want to see that? I ain't no sick freak.

"Canada's smarmy chest hair thatch" - bsnyc post: Sep 29, 2010

Funny, this one didn't look so creepy and messed up when it existed solely in my mind. I guess I wasn't counting on finding chest hair that was this smarmy. I didn't know who Robbie Williams was when I found that pic... turns out he's some sort of singer/actor who is big in the UK. Nobody does smarmy like the British. Anyway, the "Canada head" I put on him is very attractive (confirmed by the longing gaze of dude in background), but it also reminds me of the Cryptkeeper.

Overall I find my last pic quite upsetting. Ah well. WTF doesn't always yield predictable results. I am learning to live with it and accept that it will often produce images I really dislike. Thanks for staying with me through all this; it really helps.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

4 Dollar Headlamp!

I was at the dollar store today and saw something I knew my kids already had, a cheap head-mounted LED light. Ever since I saw my kids' I had been wanting to try strapping one to my helmet, and today was the glorious day.

$2. How could I resist? Another $2 got me two sets of AAA batteries for it. It came with elastic straps for placing it on your head that actually worked pretty well. My helmet wouldn't sit properly wearing the light that way. I wanted to attach it to my helmet anyway, so I took the straps off.

I was left with this cute little Star Wars lookin' thing:


The black dot is a push button that lets me choose 1, 3, or 7 LED operation. For something so cheap, it is reasonably bright, certainly comparable with most of the "be seen" lights in the $20 range, plus the hinged design allows me to adjust its vertical angle.





Its base was a nice size and had a foam pad on it, intended for your forehead. I considered velcro, but thought that it may work itself loose. I love zip-tying things, but didn't want those plastic edges inside my helmet (although I doubt they would have bothered me). I was also hoping to keep this the cheapest light ever. The straps that came with were elastic and soft, so I just pulled a Gilligan and lashed it to my helmet with the shorter of the two.



It is actually attached very firmly and I don't think I left any way for it to unravel. Inside the helmet, just some soft cloth:


I've always wanted a helmet mounted light that would shine where I looked. $4 and 15 minutes went into getting this one! Now the question is whether this Dollar Store Crap will stop working right away or not. My kids' lights have lasted really well, so I have high hopes.

To anybody who ever doubted my total coolness, I say, "LOOK AT ME NOW"! I've got Dollar Store Crap strapped to my head and I'm happy about it. Case closed. I am infinitely awesome.

Keep burning brightly, everybody.

R A N T W I C K