Are You #%^&1n' Kiddin' Me #4

This time I'm not on about a single product or advertisement, but rather an advertising trend. 3D. As most of you may have noticed, 3D movies are once again a big deal. TV makers are now offering 3D models. 3D is where its at.

My problem isn't with that stuff, although I have found most 3D stuff as underwhelming as it ever was. My problem is the application of a "3D" badge to things that just don't make sense.



I bought this stuff the other day because it was on sale. The 3D thing bugged me but I figured there would be some explanation on the label somewhere. There wasn't. So, like anyone with a little sprinkle of OCD and a dash of crabbiness, I went looking for an explanation online.

Henkel, the makers of Right Guard, explained a little on their UK web site: "Right Guard's high performance 3D formula provides three dimensions of protection: It fights perspiration, prevents odour and releases freshness throughout the day for maximum confidence." Well, at least there was some feeble attempt at justifying the 3D thing. Strangely, I didn't see any such ad copy on the North American site. Just this: "Right Guard Sport 3D Odor Defense provides 24 hour protection, sweat blockers, and odor blockers." OK then.

As a side note, I learned that the makers of Right Guard and Soft&Dry also make industrial adhesives and sealants, Loctite among them. Huh! Hope they never have a mix up at the plant!

Already having a chip on my shoulder about my 3D antiperspirant, I then saw this ad for Crest 3D Whitestrips:

Never mind the fact that I hate commercials that use weddings and wedding dresses and all that emotionally loaded crap to sell stuff. Once again, I just wanted some sort of rationale for the "3D" thing that I didn't get.

So, once again, off to the web site! I found a link there called The 3D White Story . Excellent! Surely that would explain the 3D thing! Well, no, not really. Or at all. Like the Right Guard stuff, they did mention three things right off the top, but didn't even use the word "dimensions".

"What is a 3D White Smile?

A 3D White smile is a smile that turns heads. It’s magnetic, alluring, and most importantly, attainable."

In fact, I used Google to search the entire 3dwhite.com site for the word "dimensions" or "dimension" and got nothing.

Did you know you could search an individual web site using Google? I didn't until recently when I saw a friend of mine do it. Use the following syntax in the Google search box:

yoursearchword site:www.website.com


So anyway, I'm ticked that companies are slapping "3D" on things without really even trying to explain how it might specifically apply to that thing any more than other things. Because physical objects, including health and beauty products, are all in 3D. My house is full of 3D furniture, I ate 3D toast this morning and rode my 3D bike to work today. My kids are in glorious full motion high definition 3D, sharply displayed in every conceivable colour available to the human eye. 3D antiperspirant and toothpaste? Are You #%^&1n' Kiddin' Me?

It is a very good thing that bicycles are in 3D. I mean, imagine the wedgie...

R A N T W I C K

2 New FARATS Entries!

I am pleased to have 2 new FARATS entries to share with you.

The first comes from Big Oak of Big Oak Bikes in Indiana. Here's what he had to say:

Here is my official entry into FARATS. This is the LAST tree with leaves I can find. Its neighbor was spectacular last week, but alas, I had no camera, blah, blah, blah, no photo.

Anyway, I'm excited about the prospect of real Canadian maple syrup. I don't like to brag, but I was a maple syrup judge in 1992 for the Wisconsin State Maple Syrup Festival. My in-laws live in Vermont, another maple syrup haven, but I'll bet the glacially-derived soils of southern Ontario and the sweet climate there combine for a delicious syrup. I only hope I have a chance.

I'm looking forward to see how my photo fairs in the competition, but also to see the other photos entered.

And here is his tree;

I am secretly encouraging Big Oak to let me crop his picture for greater single tree oomph, but that's just between you, me and the tree trunk.

The second new entry is from PaddyAnne of Pedal Talk out in Vancouver. Such was her fervour to photograph a killer tree that she crossed the continent... here's some of what she wrote:

"The Empress" lives in Cornwall-on-Hudson, NY. Unfortunately bad weather blew away the leaves of other trees I was following here on the Wet West Coast.

Although seemingly a bit petite, "The Empress" was chosen due to her fresh, dainty, shimmering, etherial and elegant appearance. You can view her from top to bottom, side to side - the picture captures her completely, nothing to hide, nothing to fear.

And here is her entry:

I'm secretly encouraging PaddyAnne to send me a larger picture if she has one, but that's between you, me and the maple root. PaddyAnne also sent these pictures of her "next best" tree... a big bastard she dubbed the Emperor. Here are those non-entries just for kicks.

Thanks PaddyAnne and Big Oak! Those are some pretty sweet trees.

Hey, keep 'em coming! I need at least a few more to make it interesting. There's still lots of time... submissions accepted until Dec 15.

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