Bag Balm

First off, my apologies for being rather absent lately. This blog has had to play something like sixth fiddle to a bunch of other things. One of those things was, well, something I am reluctant to write about but that often affects cyclists... saddle sores. The last time I wrote about Anti Monkey Butt I blithely mentioned that I had never had any need of a chamois cream. I will never be blithe about the subject ever again, because as some of my readers reminded me back then, an unhappy undercarriage can be a serious business, which I have learned personally over the last couple of weeks.

While I was away during March I took a vacation in a hot and sunny place where I developed a minor heat rash in the final days despite the use of the aforementioned Anti Monkey Butt powder. No big deal until I had a couple of very cold wet rainy rides upon my return. Long story short and hoping to avoid Too Much Information, I spent most of the last week getting things calmed down and sorted out. All is well now, but I never want to go there again. I consulted some bike forums about what people preferred. It seemed to me that 2 products dominated the chamois cream discussion, Assos Chamois Creme and Bag Balm.

I have no doubt that the good people at Assos have developed a very good product because lots of cyclists seem to swear by it. Lots of cyclists also seem to swear by Bag Balm, though, which costs considerably less and was originally intended for use on cows' udders. Cows' Udders!

I know that this stuff is already familiar to many of you, and there is no novelty factor. You should probably just leave now, because I am obsessed with this stuff today. Mrs. Rantwick has long known of this product and its many uses by humans. My excitement annoys her slightly because I'm acting like it is my special discovery. I like that, so I talk about the stuff even more just for her. Here is some of the cow-related info found on the tin:

"... for bunches, caked bags, cuts, sore teats, chapping and inflammation"

"Active Ingredients: 8-Hydroxyquinoline Sulfate 0.3% in a Petrolatum, Lanolin Base"

I have revelled in reading this kind of thing to Mrs. Rantwick and my children as only a pre-pubescent naughty boy should. I am a grown man, but not when I read this stuff... Caked bags! Sore teats! Hydroxyquinoline! HAHAHA hahahaha! I know how juvenile and lame that is, but I'm afraid I can't help it. Judge me, and punish me if you can! You are not the boss of me...

There are no instructions for my intended purpose, because the stuff is not marketed or approved for human use despite the fact that people have used it for a hundred years for all kinds of things.

I am tempted to add a couple of drops of Tea Tree Oil or Vitamin E or both just because I can never leave well enough alone, but I'll resist any mad scientist urges for now. Straight ahead Bag Balm is the stuff I'll be using in the hopes of preventing any more trouble. I would say wish me luck, but that would just be super weird and as you know I avoid being weird at all costs.

Wishing You All Glowing and Happy Udders,

R A N T W I C K


PS - I can't see myself as a cow without remembering this most excellent dinosaur head submission from Big Oak what seems like ages ago in 2009...

I'm Back, and I'm Chesty

Yes, I was gone for that whole month in order to undergo Breast Enhancement. Rare for a dude, I know, but I'm not your average turnip, y'know?

OK, that was my lame attempt at an April Fool's joke. What follows is the post I really wrote for today... there's still a Chesty tie-in, so be cool.

Hey all, I'm back from my March Break. Sadly I am no more caught up with my real life than I was before I took it, but I suppose that was to be expected. I was also hoping to find new inspiration for stuff to write about, but that didn't really happen either. Ah well, no worries about that, because I can happily fill my blog pages with empty tedious ramblings until my muse returns... like talking about video cameras!

My cheap old camera broke real good, so I began looking for a weatherproof replacement. As will happen sometimes, shopping around just made me want more and better. Eventually I settled on the GoPro® HD HERO Naked, because I didn't really want the helmet version and this camera is the only one I found with a Chest Mount option, which they have dubbed the "Chesty".

My thinking was that when on the bike your chest may be one of the "quietest" places on your body in terms of motion or vibration. In addition, unlike a helmet cam, the video doesn't sweep side to side like crazy as I navigate city traffic with my head on a swivel. I have barely begun playing with the cam but I thought I would show some of the video from this morning's commute. I want your opinion on whether you like me chesty (which means my arms and hands and bars are in the shot) or would rather have the cam back on the bars where I would likely have to go back to using deshaker software to stabilize the image.

The video I'm posting today is just raw, no deshaker action or title pages or any of my usual stuff. Anyway here goes...

Those videos were shot with the cam set on 720p. It'll do 1080, but I don't see the point when 720 allows a wider viewing angle (170 degrees) and 60 fps in case I want to slow motion something.

I'm still figuring out how to work with the .mp4 files this camera creates... hopefully I will improve at making them a little easier to watch.

Please Opine. Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - In hindsight I think I should have gotten the package that came with the helmet mount, the GoPro® HD Helmet HERO™ Camera instead of the "naked" even though I didn't think I wanted it... Check out GoPro.com for info on all the setups.