Valentine's Day the Rantwick Way

Mrs. Rantwick and I believe that Valentine's Day is pure commercial nonsense. For years now, we have agreed to do nothing on Feb 14. I do, on occasion, surprise her by having flowers sent to her office or something, but never on Valentine's. We usually get some candies and stuff for the kids, but that's it.

I had been away from home (in Winnipeg, Manitoba) for over a week and was missing my family like crazy. By the way, I attempted to collect video votes for trees at the airport a couple of times, but it would seem travellers are a rather surly and suspicious bunch, and so I got nothing. I hope to have a winner before you all hate me, but no promises. Anyway, I returned home on Valentine's day. Mrs. Rantwick and the two little Rantwicks were at work and school, but they had left a lovely handmade Valentine for me!

Pretty sweet, right? Well just wait, it gets much better. Don't all the best things in life come with a disclaimer? Oh, I think so:

WARNING: We could not think of anything other than toilet humor so don't take this poem personally!

Then they hit me with a verse I shall cherish always (sniff)...

Roses are red, violets are blue

You smell funny

Just like my poo!

This came from the bottom of our HEARTS!

God I love my family. That card was LOVE with a capital P baby! Please don't be too envious of me and my awesome wife and children... although I don't know how on earth you could help it.

Yer Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - I now realize that "LOVE with a capital P" is a rather strange thing to write. In my addled brain, the "P" was for Poo.

Sir Vay Lance

In my last post I mentioned something I found a little funny in my web stats. Well, the very next day I got a visit from somebody else I had never noticed before:

If you read my previous post and the comments on it with an eye toward specific words and phrases, do you think it possible that they may have flagged it for a little visit somehow? I can see a few that make it a possibility, if a remote one. I've never noticed that particular visitor before and they don't appear anywhere else in my recent web stats. Am I being paranoid? I must be. It's just a coincidence, I'm sure.

Yer Neurotic Pal,

R A N T W I C K

PS - Just in case it is not a coincidence, please refrain from using words in the comments that may spark a refreshed interest... I am being stupid, especially knowing that I am a squeaky clean citizen, but humour me.

PPS - If you happen to be the visitor in question and you just like reading my silly stuff, let me know! If so, I'm treating you like the poor Doctor at a party who's being asked to "look at this weird thing on my neck"!