Here in London Ontario there are now a few big Asian supermarkets. They are like any big supermarket in many ways. In other ways, not so much. It is kind of like taking China Town in a big city and repackaging it for mass consumption by suburbanites. I love these stores, because despite wishing I weren't so boring, I'm about as average a white man as you can get; a perfect target audience, if you will. They have so much cool stuff I've never seen before!
I had to buy these just because of the outstanding name and packaging:
Lonely God Potato Twists
I bet God really is kind of lonely these days. I mean, the numbers of religious people seems to be at an all-time low, as far as I can tell. Thankfully, that doesn't stop His or Her or Its minions from gracing our villages full of medieval-style towers with potato twists, thank Whoever!
The potato twists themselves were kind of rotini-shaped and had the taste and texture of slightly soft (like squeak against your teeth soft) sour cream n' onion chips. I ate half the bag anyway, because when I bought 'em, I made a commitment. It's just the kind of stand-up Lonely God fearing man that I am.
God might be lonely, but the helpers are super happy. I would be happy too, I guess, if I had a magic snack wand and could fly! I'm gonna try to spend all day feeling like this helper-minion-angel, sprinkling awesome weird joy snacks composed of goodwill and MSG and onion powder on all whom I meet. It'll beat being a jerkface angry man who just yells profanities at everybody all the time. I am just so sick of that.
Yer Pal,
R A N T W I C K
