Things People Say Fridays #13: Wild Man

I'm posting this on a Monday, but that's OK, because this person said what they said on Friday. That's good enough for me. Plus, this one is awesome and I'm not gonna wait 5 days to post it. As with other "Things People Say" posts, I'm not gonna write a whole bunch of stuff and just let the video speak for itself:

 

 

 

  

On this Thanksgiving Day I am thankful for all the characters like this guy that make my world more interesting. For all you silly 'Mericans, happy Columbus Day! I bet that dude was a way out character too.

 

Enjoy Your Holiday Wherever You Are,

R A N T W I C K

PS - If you are not enjoying a Holiday today, please tell your boss that I said it is OK for you to take a day for yourself with pay. If they have a problem with that, they can email me and I'll give 'em what for about the value of your work and how they really don't want to piss you off because they don't know what I know about how crazy dangerous you are.

R A N T W E R K

Yes, you read that title right, and yes I am nothing if not a follower of popular trends. Twerking might have "jumped the shark" by now, but that is just when a guy like me gets right into something. Just as when fat white middle aged suburban Dads (or fabric ladies) start rapping and everybody loves it, so too is my twerking AWESOME. I think I messed up the the structure or correct usage of the simile (or is it metaphor, or analogy? I should know that!) but that's OK, because when you can bike twerk, you don't need no English grammar 'cause your hot shakin' action says it all! Check me out:

 

 

 

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my thing is "bicycle shadow twerking"; I mean, how gross do you think I am? I'm a 44 year old 5'10" 200+ lb man, for God's sake! Eewww! Call me a prude, but I find it kind of distasteful even when attractive people do it. Man oh man, am I gettin' old. 

 

On the slim chance that anyone thinks those shadows are of my body, please rest easy in the fact that the shadows are actually of my jacket; I had a set of keys in the back pocket that were largely responsible for my awesome shadowy motion. I'm not entirely pleased with my bod, but thank god none of it really woogles like that!

Aren't you glad you showed up here today? Well if you're not, at least I am. Thanks as always for reading!

 

 

 

Yer Pal,

 

R A N T W E R K

PS - I'm running low on bizarre Amazon searches, so help me out if you can.