Perfect Steady Circles

There are times these days when I am upset, saddened by the heartbreaking things that are happening to some of the people I love most in the world. I spend some of my time on the verge of tears. I'll be OK, and so will they. In the meantime, however, I rely on perfect, steady, circles.

Mind in turmoil, I mount my bike and ride to work. My feet perform perfect, steady, unceasing circles. My knees go up, go down. My breath goes in, goes out. My body falls into the familiar rythm of the bicycle. The cars and birds and sun and clouds perform their prescribed duties. My wheels roll as they always do. I am calmed. I arrive at work quite capable of taking on its daily challenges.

When work is over, I am carried back into the outstretched arms of my family by my feet performing perfect, steady, circles.

It isn't always blissful on the bike. Sometimes it is just perfect, steady, circles. And that is enough.

R A N T W I C K

Are You #%^1n' Kiddin' Me #7

I've been driving my family a little crazy with my obsessive behaviour surrounding this commercial:

The stuff being advertised here is being called a "water enhancer" by the company who makes it. Every time that guy says "it really changes your water", I scream "YES, it changes your water into juice!" at the TV. My family used to just laugh, but now they are beginning to find it tiresome. Nonetheless, I can't seem to let it go.

I have nothing against this product, but for some stupid reason I can't just let this "water enhancer" angle slide. I mean, what is the real difference between this stuff and:

Sure, the chemicals and artificial flavours and sweeteners may have changed, but how the hell is this stuff really any different? When you add a flavoured syrup or powder to water, you have made juice. Crappy juice, but juice.

This is a pretty minor thing, I know, so this instance of "Are You #%^1n' Kiddin' Me?" should probably read "Are You #%^1n' Kiddin' Me, Rantwick? I mean, how can this matter to you or anyone else?" But you know, I've already, like, written some stuff. So that's where we are.

Yes, it Changes Your Water. Into Juice.

R A N T W I C K